did you get engaged???
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't turn off my feet"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
