wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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