he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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