I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
