That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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