TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
