He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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