Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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