Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think your dad took our porno
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
