Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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