The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
