My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
