1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
