Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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