well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
