I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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