Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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