i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
