he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
