Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
