your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
