So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
