something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
