i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every concussion has its silver lining
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
