my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
