dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
