Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
