How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
