I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
