u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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