I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
