yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm bleeding and have questions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
