i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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