fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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