my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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