Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
