for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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