After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
