worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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