3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
