My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
