I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize