thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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