He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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