Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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