Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
