hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
