Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
