just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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