I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
