Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
